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New York Man’s Attempt to Avoid Jail Time Backfires

Here's today's too-funny-not-to-be-true story.

Some people will do anything to avoid jail time. Take Robert Berger for example.

The Long Island man faced jail time for possession of a stolen car and attempted grand larceny, so he did what any one of us would naturally do and tried to fake his own death.

There was one problem: the death certificate his attorney submitted contained typos and font issues.

The AP reports:

At first glance, Berger’s purported death certificate looked like an official document issued by the New Jersey Department of Health, Vital Statistics and Registry, but there was one big problem: Registry was spelled “Regsitry,” prosecutors said. There were also inconsistencies in the font type and size that raised suspicions, they said.

While pretending to be dead, Berger continued to commit crimes, using a fake identity in Philadelphia and stealing from a school.

“It will never cease to amaze me the lengths some people will go to to avoid being held accountable on criminal charges,” Nassau County District Attorney Madeline Singas said in a telephone interview.

Singas concluded that it’s not worth it to try to fake your death to avoid paying for your crimes.

“You’re gonna get caught,” Singas said. “We say it all the time. Crime doesn’t pay. We’ll catch up with you eventually. In this case, it’s never a good idea to submit phony documents to the district attorney. We were able to make sure that he wasn’t able to get away with it.”

It’s too bad Berger is going to spend so much time in jail. It looks like he could’ve had a fine career as a politician.

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