The headlines this morning reminded me of an old song:
There’s a man who lives a live of danger
To everyone he meets, he stays a stranger
With every leak he makes another impeachment story breaks
Odds are he won’t live to see tomorrow…
Whistleblower man, whistleblower man
They’ve given you protection to make it look like you’re real brave…
Or, as CNN’s Brian Stelter—no stranger to danger himself, given that the name of his show is Reliable Sources and he has yet to find any—recently tweeted:
Imagine that! Not only is the ”whistleblower” now under federal protection, 60 Minutes just happened to obtain a letter attesting to this earth-shattering development. That’s some first-class reporting right there, folks. And they say that journalists these days spend all their time cruising social media instead of doing good, old-fashioned shoe leather investigations.
Of course—and just bear with me here—it’s also quite possible that this little morsel just got dropped in the laps of the 60 Minutes crew by the same people who set up the impeachment inquiry, to make it appear as if the whistleblower is in possession of such explosive information that authorities fear for his safety. That, or they want to make Donnie “the Orange” Trump out to be like some mafioso who’ll have this stool pigeon whacked just as soon as his goons can lay hands on him. Who knows? Maybe it’s both. Either way, the whole thing looks like a put-up job, carefully crafted for public consumption.
And you know how you can tell it’s all bollocks? It’s simple really: The whistleblower doesn’t know anything! By his own admission, all the stuff he alleged in his complaint came second and third-hand from other people. If anybody would need protection, it would be the canaries who sang to the whistleblower in the first place. Secondly, asserting federal protection also works as a smoke screen to prevent the public from seeing the identity of the whistleblower—and thus having the ability to question his motives and veracity. Or, as Adam “the Pencilneck” Schiff might put it in mobspeak, “Nice impeachment inquiry we got going here. Be a shame if somebody could question our witness.”
Meanwhile, in another corner of La-La Land, it looks as if Auntie Hillary has been hitting the boxed wine again:
The person who freaked out when Trump once said he might question the election if he didn’t win says what? Hillary, I hate to break it to ya—but even your most ardent supporters were never obsessed with you. If anything, they probably felt something more akin to that terrible song that so encapsulated your baby-boomer generation, “If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.” That’s probably why your speaking fees since you lost the election have dropped from $250 grand a pop to cab fare and a gift card from Sizzler.
And to the extent that Donald Trump is keeping your name in the news, it might have something to do with you allegedly committing exactly what the media have been accusing the President of from the moment he assumed office—namely, colluding with a foreign power to tilt the 2016 election in your favor. Considering the glass house you’re standing in, you might want to put down the rock until Inspector General Horowitz releases his report.
As to the rest of us, we might want to turn off this soap opera and find something a tad more realistic to watch. I hear The Bachelorette isn’t so bad…
Well, well, well. Now it seems as if CBS’s reporting may not have been entirely accurate:
So leakers in DC planted a fake news story in order to shape a narrative? Say it isn’t so!