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Too Much Justice for Jussie

How was he supposed to know the cops would do their jobs?

It’s a sad day in America when a man claims to be the victim of a heinous hate crime only to have the cops. . .thoroughly investigate the purported incident?

Well, that’s the complaint that erstwhile Empire actor Jussie Smollett seems to be making, anyway, as he defends himself from a lawsuit that the city of Chicago filed against him. That’s because Chi-town is seeking to recover all that money they spent looking into the alleged attack Smollett suffered at the hands of MAGA hat wearing white supremacists, which supposedly occurred after he picked up a Subway sandwich. . .at three in the morning. . .during a polar vortex. . .in the kind of neighborhood where you’re more likely to find D.B. Cooper than a MAGA hat wearing white supremacist.

The Sun-Times has the details, if you can stand them:

The actor. . .is making one last attempt to get a city lawsuit against him tossed out of federal court before it proceeds to trial.

[L]ate Tuesday night, his attorneys filed a motion responding to the city’s claim that he should pay the city more than $130,000 to cover police overtime and other costs. The city says the costs were incurred in connection with an investigation into a report he filed claiming he was the victim of a racist and homophobic attack in River North. Police later charged Smollett with staging the attack.

Attorneys for Smollett deny the actor made up the attack, and note charges were ultimately dropped by Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx.

That’s the same Kim Foxx, by the way, who may have been doing Michelle Obama a favor by dropping the charges against Smollett for filing a false police report. But I’m sure that’s all just a coincidence.

I mean, it’s not like Chicago is famous for corruption or anything.

But the latest court filing contends even if Smollett did make a false report, there is no way the city can assert he would have known the city would investigate — and investigate it to the extent cops did.

“We contend the city is wrong,” [Smollett attorney] Quinlan said of the city’s assertion that Smollett should have known the police would log nearly 2,000 hours in overtime trying to resolve the case. “ … The mere fact somebody filed a police report doesn’t presume the investigation will be done and certainly not to the extent of what the city is claiming.”

Yes, because when a celebrity—minor though he may be—who also happens to be gay and black says he had a noose tied around his neck by a couple of Trump-thumping thugs, who could possibly think that the media would overlook the obvious problems with the story turn it into a national sensation anyway?

I mean, it’s not like the media have a reputation for that sort of thing, right?

He added: “Smollett has no control over that.”

Funny, because the cops didn’t have any control over Smollett going on Good Morning America to recount his harrowing tale, either. But why should he expect that to have any effect on how many resources the police poured into the investigation of his case?

I mean, it’s not like the whole country was watching, right?

Pity poor Jussie. In all likelihood, He staged a hate crime to draw attention to himself in a crude, ham-handed attempt to goose his salary, because pulling in $125 grand an episode as a supporting character just wasn’t enough. But then, horror of all horrors, he got all the attention he wanted—and then some—only to find out that it ain’t that easy to fool the cops, especially when you’re an idiot with all the criminal acumen of Lex Luther as played by Don Knotts. Now, like the kid who murders his parents and begs the judge for mercy because he’s an orphan, he’s hoping to slither his way out of a predicament of his own making.

Here’s hoping he’s used up all his favors with Michelle.

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