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Racially Insensitive…Chocolate?

When the social justice warriors come for Cadbury, nobody is safe.

Yes, it’s come to this.

Cadbury, that confectionist purveyor or such delights as the Fruit & Nut Bar and the Creme Egg, has apparently come under fire for its newest chocolatey offering—which, ironically enough, the company created to demonstrate its commitment to diversity.

Read on, but be warned that my IQ dropped a full ten points just from reading the headline:

The British confectionery giant Cadbury has been facing some backlash on social media for a new candy bar that it introduced in India, which features four types of chocolate — dark, blended, milk and white — to promote diversity.

“This is as absurd as Kendall Jenner fighting police brutality with a Pepsi,” tweeted legal analyst Imani Gandy.

“Congratulations to cadbury for solving racism,” wrote restaurant critic Tejal Rao.

Cardbury rolled out the multi-flavored chocolate bars on Aug. 15 — teaming up with the global advertising agency Ogilvy — to celebrate India’s Independence Day.

I used to think that chocolate was a lot like bacon. Is there nothing it can’t do? But now, at least according to the woke scolds of social media, even my candy bar has to check its privilege, lest I commit some racial faux pas by eating it.

So what does ethnically insensitive chocolate look like? See for yourself—but be prepared, because once you gaze upon the face of such hateful bigotry, you will never be the same:


Get thee behind me, chocolate of Satan!

“Limited edition,” eh? Something tells me this edition is gonna be a lot more limited than Cadbury ever intended.

This is everything wrong with diversity,” tweeted one person. “You force in a set amount of predefined difference and it’s going to taste awful. I would rather see a range where you don’t know what you’re going to get, but it’s going to taste amazing whatever it is.”

Well, that’s one opinion. But we all remember what Dirty Harry said about opinions, don’t we?

Another person said, “You would THINK, if they were going for unity, that all of the types would be interspersed instead of segregated (from light to dark, no less). This is the problem with playing to the woke crowd; you BETTER get it right.”

Yes, it’s 2019 and we’re talking about segregated chocolate. On the plus side, maybe CNN can bring it up at the next Democratic presidential debate and get Joe Biden and Kamala Harris to throw down over forced busing again. Hey, Willy Wonka! The seventies called, and they want their domestic policy back!

Sheesh. I haven’t seen a controversy like this since Ray “Schoolbus” Nagin gave his infamous Chocolate City Speech. It does make me wonder how much more of this we as a nation can take, though. At least back in the old days, when some nitwit wanted to express his thoughts on a subject no sane person could possibly care about, he had to post it on some random blog or write a letter to the editor. These days, with the power of social media, a stupid idea can be magnified exponentially, to the point where it consumes all rational thought.

Sigh. Anybody else miss the old days?

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