Some people call him the Space Cowboy. And with those roving hands of his, some call him the Gangster of love. But I’ll just keep calling him Uncle Joe, ‘cause he speaks of the Pompatus of Gaffes—the practice of which he is the undisputed lord and master. Hell, even Marianne Williamson can’t compare.
So what is it that makes Joe Biden so special? It’s stuff like this, which you couldn’t make up if you tried:
Um, Joe—could we have a word ?
See, there’s this thing called the “Mueller Investigation.” You might have heard of it—mainly because fellow Democrats and your friends in the media flogged the thing for two years as the sure-fire, guaranteed way to get Donald Trump booted from office. What was this investigation all about, you might ask? How Russia—you know, that country run by the dude your buddy Barack wanted to have greater flexibility with—interfered in the 2016 election.
Biden might want to re-familiarize himself with who happened to be running the White House at the time, because it wasn’t Donald Trump. He might also want to check out the Mueller Report—especially since the Prez and Veep that would never allow Russian interference on their watch thought it would be just peachy to shell out nearly $40 million in taxpayer money to find out how much the Russians interfered on their watch.
Oh, and then there’s the surveillance of the Trump campaign—which totally didn’t take place on Biden’s watch, because why spy on a political rival if there wasn’t any interference? Except that they did. And there was. And now another report, this one coming soon from an Inspector General near you, has everyone in DC quaking in their boots. Then again, maybe lying to a FISA judge to get a warrant based on a bogus dossier complied by a foreign intelligence operative was just standard operating procedure for the Obama administration—so much that Biden never paid it any mind. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time high weirdness took place on his watch without him noticing.
And to think that Joe is the least crazy among the Democrat horde running for President right now…