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Beto Wants to be the Worst Reality Star of All Time

Confession time: I don’t understand the appeal of Robert Francis Beto O’Rourke. He comes across as vapid to me – an empty suit. I mean, even if I agreed with him on policy, there’s nothing about him skateboarding or jumping up on a bar counter that strikes me as worth giving him a second look.

Yet somehow in the 2018 race against Ted Cruz, he turned a lot of heads, and for a while he was the Democrats’ flavor of the month in the presidential race. He’s made his way with fawning magazine profiles, a meanderingly pretentious travelogue, and the aforementioned bar-hopping and skating.

Now that he’s dipping in the polls, he’s going back to more uninspiring faux-reality show antics. Yesterday he livestreamed his haircut. Read that again: he actually livestreamed his haircut.

Apparently he talked with the barber about the barber’s experiences as an immigrant (yawn) and about his own ear hair (yikes). Some things are just better left unshared with the world…you know, like pretty much anything Beto has to say. This stunt is reminiscent of the one a few months ago where he livestreamed his dental cleaning.

At this point, I don’t know if Beto is remotely serious about wanting to be president. I’m beginning to believe that he’s aiming to become the lamest reality show star of all time. Nobody who genuinely wants to shape the direction of the country wants to waste potential voters’ time on inane attention-grabbers like this one.

Here’s some advice for you, Beto. Go ahead and drop out of the race. You’re better suited to Bravo or TLC than you are to C-SPAN.

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