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As “Born That Way” Falls Apart, Can We Please Respect Ex-Gays Now?

It was the entire premise behind the repeal of sodomy laws.

It was the entire premise behind the judicial decree of gay marriage.

It was the entire premise behind Lady Gaga’s magnum opus.

It was the entire premise behind the fining and government censure of private businesses whose owners hold religious convictions.

It was the entire premise behind the extension of non-discrimination laws based on sexual orientation.

It was the entire premise behind the jailing of counselors who wish to help people battle or overcome their unwanted attractions and desires.

But as it turns out, the “born that way” proposition for homosexual behavior wasn’t scientific after all.  No doubt that conclusion will be controversial and criticized by LGBT activists, but oddly enough it is the tireless efforts of LGBT researchers and pioneers in the fields of sexuality and gender that have brought us to such an understanding.

In essence, had it not been for the ongoing sexual revolution and the relentless demands of those associated with it, the notions of sexual, gender, and orientation “fluidity” might never have surfaced.  But it has, and with it, the notion of immutable (unchangeable) sexual proclivities has sunk like a rock.

It’s simple science: if something as biologically-based as sex and gender can change fluidly, it is the height of absurdity to suggest that something as emotionally-based as attractions and feelings can never change.  Yet that has remained the persistent supposition of the “born that way” movement.  Rational minds understand they simply can’t have it both ways.

And as I mentioned before, the evidence now accumulated, says as much:

The truth is, “sexual orientation” is a multi-faceted concept, involving a combination of attractions, behaviors, and personal identity. These four studies all demonstrate that significant change in each of the elements of sexual orientation is possible. The percentage changing from homosexuality to heterosexuality ranged from 13% to 53% (while the percentage changing from heterosexuality to homosexuality ranged only from 1% to 12%). In one survey of “same-sex attracted respondents,” up to 38% of men and 53% of women “changed to heterosexuality” in only a six-year period.

Confirmation of this has come from a surprising source. Scholar Lisa Diamond (who herself identifies as a lesbian) has long studied and written about the “sexual fluidity” of women. In a 2016 article with her colleague Clifford Rosky, she declared, “Given the consistency of these findings, it is not scientifically accurate to describe same-sex sexual orientation as a uniformly immutable trait.”

One of the saddest realities of the sexual revolution has been witnessing the societal and cultural abuse of those who have chosen to walk away from their sexual attractions in obedience to the Gospel of Christ.  They have been slandered, “othered,” isolated and ostracized, called liars, deceivers, and frauds.  Every time one of them has fallen back into same-sex sexual temptation, they have been mocked, posterized, and seen their struggle become a weaponized taunt at others attempting obedience to Christ’s will rather than their own.

It’s been sick.  And it’s been truly revealing to anyone paying attention (which has been remarkably few) precisely who it is that bullies, intimidates, and refuses to tolerate the sexual choices of others.

But now the vindication belongs to those “ex-gays.”  The change they knew was possible is, of course, possible.  Predisposition and attraction are informed by a number of contributing factors.  But sexual orientation is not innate, it is not inborn, and it is not immutable.  If social progress is marked by accepting and tolerating those who choose to indulge their current orientation, shouldn’t it also include accepting, tolerating, and helping those who choose to change theirs?


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