Bad roommates are like bad hangovers. Everybody’s got a story about the worst one they’ve ever had, and they’re usually quite funny. Take me, for instance. My freshman year back in college, one of the guys I lived with fell in with a religious cult—which made the rest of the year pretty interesting, to put it mildly. Sophomore year got even better, when I rented a room from a guy who sometimes like to walk around the house at night stark naked. All that goes a long way toward explaining why I lived alone as a junior. There’s only so much weirdness a bloke can take before he’s old enough to buy beer.
Which is why I laughed out loud when I saw this post from the College Fix. Let’s just say that when it comes to roommate issues, things have changed a bit since the Era of John Hughes:
One evening last September, a Michigan State University student awoke from his nap to see his roommate sitting at his computer. There was a video playing, and the student realized his roommate was watching a video of conservative commentator Ben Shapiro.
Dude realized his roommate was watching. . .Ben Shapiro? Not Japanese tentacle porn or the live feed from a basement where he keeps his victims chained to a radiator? You’d think that would come as a source of relief, but no.
The newly awoken student then took to his own computer to file a complaint with the administration’s bias reporting system against his roommate for watching the Shapiro video.
Oh, for pity’s sake. Not only is that a d*ck move, it’s about as passive-aggressive as you can get short of anonymously trolling that girl who shot you down for a date on Tinder. Instead of just asking your roommate about the video and discussing it like a normal human being, your first resort is to try and jam him up with the university?
What kind of a sad sack delta-bravo would do something like that? Oh, yeah—the kind of guy who would file a complaint like this:
“Ben Shapiro is known for his inflammatory speech that criticizes and attacks the African American community,” the student wrote in his report against his roommate. “I thought hate had no place on MSU’s campus yet MSU has roomed me with someone who supports hate speach [sic].”
Wow. A guy who not only disses free speech, he doesn’t even know how to spell it. Can somebody explain to me how this tool got into MSU again? Because standards there definitely seem to be slipping.
In response to the complaint, the university tasked an investigator to look into the matter, who was told to work for a “room change if the claimant would like one.”
Anytime you start hating your job, just tell yourself, “At least I’m not that poor sap at MSU who has to investigate stuff like this.” Whatever they’re paying that person, it can’t be enough.
The rest of the article goes on to detail some of the other nonsense that students report—and the university takes seriously—which makes for some jolly reading, provided all the snowflakery on display doesn’t have you weeping for the future of this great nation. Exactly how this generation got to be this way, though, really highlights the failure of helicopter parenting and how never forcing kids to face any genuine adversity growing up has turned them into rather pathetic adults.
Even worse, after seeing the way in which these nitwits gleefully inform on one another, I can’t help but think they would have felt perfectly at home in a place like Communist East Germany—where neighbors snitched on neighbors, and even family members turned each other in for not toeing the party line. Sadly, when institutions of higher learning indulge these totalitarian impulses, it does nobody any good—especially their students, who end up regarding their own prejudice as a virtue.
Perhaps the university should try a different approach, and simply tell these grown-up children to get over it? The Eagles once did a song to that effect. Maybe it’s high time we brought it back.