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Bernie Sanders is the Stale Green Potato Chip at the Bottom of the Bag

Bernie Sanders is starting to look, well, less hip and cool. Now that virtually all Democrat candidates have embraced some of the tenets of socialism, Bernie’s edge is fading.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the lightning-quick rise of Robert Kennedy, excuse me, I mean Robert O’Rourke.

Robert Francis O’Rourke has indeed gotten off to a quick start in the Democratic primary race, according to NBC News:

WASHINGTON — Former Rep. Beto O’Roruke has been raising money at a faster rate than the rest of the 2020 Democratic primary field, his campaign said Wednesday, but Sen. Bernie Sanders has so far collected more money overall.

O’Rourke reported raising $9.4 million in the first quarter of the year at an average contribution of $43 a pop — well short of Sanders’ $18 million and the $12 million Sen. Kamala Harris, D-Calif., said she raised.

But O’Rourke’s campaign noted that the Texan entered the race much later than the others, giving him only 18 days to fundraise before the March 31 deadline, compared with the 41 days Sanders had between his February launch and the end of the quarter or Harris’ 70 days following her January announcement.

Bernie Sanders, as you’ll recall, was the small-dollar king of the 2016 Democratic Party Primaries. In April of 2016, he said that his average donation was about $27 per person.

In 2019, Bernie is many things that the Democrats don’t want and a few things they do. Yes, he’s a socialist. Tick that box.

He’s also stale. Like, green-potato-chip-in-the-bottom-of-the-bag stale. Bernie was exciting in 2016 because he was so unlike all of the other candidates in the field at that time – he was a socialist with mainstream popularity. Now they’re all socialists.

Beto O’Rourke, by contrast, is the Instagram version of Robert Kennedy. He’s fresh, photogenic, and funky.

Beto is not just any potato chip, he’s one of those hip potato chips you can buy at Whole Foods for $10 a bag. He’s like a Terra chip. Yeah, that’s it. Beto is a Terra chip. You know, the kind they give out on Jet Blue? Yeah. Those are awesome. One time a flight attendant gave me an extra bag of the Terra Blues – that was a great day.

Oh, sorry, we were talking Beto. And actually, I don’t want to insult Terra chips with that comparison because they’re fantastic. But you get the idea. Or maybe you don’t, but go buy yourself some Terra chips. Seriously.

Nevermind that Kennedy’s real accomplishments leave Beto in the dust – that’s not important to the Democrats anymore, anyhow. Bernie, for his part, has a lifetime of public service – even though it’s pretty much a lifetime pushing for socialism. Still, you can’t deny that Bernie has done stuff somewhere.

Beto hasn’t. Not really.

I heard he wrote a short story one time.

And yet he’s out-Bernie’ing Bernie, because of all that and much more, and Bernie is losing his edge by the second.

Not to mention the money race.


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