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Biden’s Conspiracy Theory

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

Now that the mainstream media have seen fit to delve into former Vice President Joe Biden’s rather physically assertive style when it comes to his interactions with women, the response of conservatives has been much like John McClane in Die Hard after he dropped a dead terrorist on Sgt. Al Powell’s police car: “Welcome to the party, pal!” After all, it wasn’t like there hadn’t been ample photographic proof of Biden’s proclivities. His wandering hands were the stuff of meme legend, unsurpassed until Beto O’Rourke claimed the title with his own wildly gesticulating style.

So why is it only now that the people paid to be the eyes and the ears of America have noticed that there’s just something a little off in the way Biden conducts himself in public with members of the fairer sex? Well, it turns out that Uncle Joe himself as a theory about that, and he’s not mincing words:

Joe Biden advisers believe coverage of allegations of inappropriate behavior is being stoked by rival Democrats — a dynamic that could actually fire up the vice president at a time when others see success as increasingly improbable.

Why it matters: Several around Biden think advisers to Bernie Sanders are at least partly behind the anti-Biden campaign. One prominent backer thinks Biden will run, and “is ready to kill Bernie.”

And when it comes to dealing with this issue, he ain’t just twiddling his thumbs.

“VP directed staff this evening to reach out to supporters and donors with a simple message — full steam ahead.”

Never let it be said that idle hands are Joe Biden’s workshop.

But is there really a secret Democrat conspiracy to take him out of the running before his campaign even begins? Um, yeah. That’s what happens when a political party has more presidential candidates than Bresler’s has flavors. Somebody’s gotta go to make room for whoever the front runner is gonna be, and that person can’t emerge until at least a few contestants get voted off the island. Biden’s history, coupled with the #MeToo moment, pretty much made this inevitable.

If he thinks this is playing dirty, though, rest assured that it can get worse—much worse.

In his 2014 book on the Secret Service, long-time investigative reporter Ronald Kessler wrote that female Secret Service agents were upset by Biden’s habit of swimming naked in the swimming pool in the vice president’s house in Washington, D.C., and at his home outside of Wilmington, Del., while they had to stand watch.


“Agents say that, whether at the vice president’s residence or at his home in Delaware, Biden has a habit of swimming in his pool nude,” wrote Kessler. “Female Secret Service agents find that offensive.”

Suddenly, “Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific!” doesn’t seem so bad.

He went on to write in his book, “First Family Detail: Secret Service Agents Reveal the Hidden Lives of Presidents,” that because of this habit of stripping down in front of female agents to swim, and because of frequent last-minute trips to Delaware, Secret Service agents considered an assignment to Biden’s security detail to be the second worst assignment in the Secret Service after Hillary Clinton.

Before you go thinking this is just a bunch of juicy scandalmongering, it should be noted that Kessler was a longtime Washington Post investigative journalist, and that the abuses revealed in his book The FBI: Inside the World’s Most Powerful Law Enforcement Agency forced then-Director William Sessions to resign. In other words, Kessler’s sources have proven to be solid—so if he says there are more skeletons to be found in Biden’s closet, chances are pretty good that there are plenty of bones to rattle.

My guess is that Biden knows this, and at some point soon will quietly withdraw from the 2020 scene. He’s been around Washington long enough to know the way it works—and that there is no way that the current Democrat Party is going to nominate an old stalwart like him anyway.


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