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BREAKING: Trump Wins 2016 Election

In a shocking turn of events that stunned senior Democrats on Sunday, Donald J. Trump apparently won the 2016 election.

The surprising developments left a number of politicians, whose lives have been meticulously crafted and molded around the accumulation of power, in full Cover Your Behind mode.

Jerry Nadler, everyone’s favorite caricature of a New York Democrat, decided to describe the Attorney General’s summary of how the Mueller report exonerates the President as somehow not exonerating the President:

MSNBC, a network known for its sterling credibility and complete lack of politicization or speculation about the Mueller report over the past two years, decided to put up several articles and videos throwing shade on the very Mueller report they’ve pinned all of their credibility on. Here are a few of Monday morning’s top headlines from the MSNBC.com website:

“Nadler: We Can’t Rely on What May be a Hasty, Partisan Interpretation of Facts”

“Chuck: AG Barr’s Summary Will Color Our Interpretation of the Mueller Report”

“Joe: If There Was No Collusion, Why Did Trump and His Associates Lie About Russia”

MSNBC’s stars are polishing brass on the Titanic, if the Titanic is NBC’s future in the cable news business.

On the other hand, it’s hard to see what else we could expect from the water-carriers for the left wing. Especially when grassroots Democrats continue to agitate for impeachment.

Trump didn’t collude with Russia.

He isn’t a Russian agent.

He won the 2016 election because Americans voted for him.

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