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Aapple’ss sBigg Eevent

Blah blah blah Apple event today blah blah blah blah blah.

No one cares about the new service Apple’s coming out with today because the Butterfly Keyboard still exists.

IT. STILL. FREAKING. EXISTS.

Like Uwe Boll movies, it just keeps sticking around. First the 12” MacBook which was cool but for the keyboard which makes it virtually unusable. Then the cancer spread to the other MacBooks and now, with the newest MacBook Air, the absolute worst keyboard ever made has now spread its clicker-clack tentacles over all my beloved Macs.

Unlike Uwe Boll movies, which a few people apparently like (Google it), no one likes the Butterfly Keyboard. No one. If you think you like it you obviously don’t know yourself and need to re-examine your life. Or as Ayn Rand would say, “check your premises.” Because you don’t really like it.

Who would want to type on what is essentially a giant block of plastic with zero key travel and in which a single speck of dust breaks the entire machine necessitating a repair that, absent Apple’s keyboard replacement program, costs almost $1000?

Who would want to type on a keyboard that constantly sticks and cccaaauses alll kindss of issues withh ttyypos.

It’s so bad it even has diehard Mac users switching to Windows. I won’t do that as I’ve always used Macs, but I sure won’t be buying a new Macbook anytime soon. But I also can’t totally blame the guy in that linked video.

Uwe Boll eventually retired. Did you know that? Not this stupid keyboard. It’s still here.

So what is Apple releasing today? I dunno, some kind of news service. Cool dude.

But until they banish the Butterfly Keyboard to the Phantom Zone forever and ever and ever no one really cares.

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