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You Never Even Called Me By My Name

Sometimes it’s hard to be a congresswoman.

I was starting to think that Donald Trump grousing about not getting his props for John McCain’s funeral was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen on Twitter. Luckily, Alexandria OCASIO-Cortez has arrived to show us that no matter how shallow celebrities can get, they always find a way to drain a little more water out of the pool.

Why the all-caps OCASIO? I’ll just let her explain it.

I guess with no Argentina to cry for her, AOC is doing some whining of her own.

Thank God for that. For a second there, I was scared she would start insisting on “Your Majesty.” Then again, she’s only been in Washington for a few months—so give it time.

I’m sure that OCASIO-Cortez thinks she’s hanging all tough, like that time Muhammad Ali was putting a beat-down on poor Ernie Terrell, yelling, “What’s my name? What’s my name?” To me, on the other hand, she sounds more like a pop diva sneering, “No, my first name ain’t baby. It’s Alex. Miss OCASIO-Cortez if you’re nasty!”

Get her one of those Rhythm Nation uniforms and a troupe of background dancers and we’ll be in business.

Only problem is, it’s all bollocks. As our friends at the Daily Wire report:

Ocasio-Cortez appears to be spreading false information about the Fox hosts. Grabien Media founder Tom Elliott looked into the claim and found that over the last month Ingraham and Hannity have not once referred to the freshman congresswoman as “Cortez” on their shows.

“You may be unsurprised to learn that this is untrue. I checked every mention of ‘Cortez’ on the Ingraham Angle in March and didn’t find [The Ingraham Angle] referring to [Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez] as ‘Cortez’ once. On 3/14, Rabbi Aryeh Spero said ‘Cortez and her quartet,’ but Laura never did,” he responded to the rep. in a Wednesday tweet.

Oops.

“Just checked [Sean Hannity], whom she also accuses of this ostensible hate crime. Like Laura, Hannity did not refer to [Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez] as ‘Cortez’ once in the month of March (I checked every show). She’s mentioned 20x in one episode, but every time correctly,” Elliott continued.

Tucker! What about Tucker? With the usual left-wing agitators trying to get him kicked off the air, surely he must have committed this grave faux pas against the inimitable Miss OCASIO-Cortez, right?

Carlson doesn’t refer to the New York representative as “Cortez,” either. When the “Tucker Carlson Tonight” host did a five-minute-plus segment on the democratic socialist Tuesday night, for example, he mentioned her name over a dozen times; he referred to her as “Ocasio-Cortez,” “Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez,” “Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez,” and “AOC” (which is Ms. Ocasio-Cortez’s Twitter handle). He did not once refer to her as “Cortez.”

Oh, well. At least this brouhaha kept her in the spotlight—which was rather the point. As President Trump knows full well, the substance of your tweets doesn’t really matter, so long as it keeps the attention focused on you.

In the meanwhile, I’d like to dedicate this song to the little lady from Westchester—or, more precisely, whoever runs her social media accounts—so that she knows we understand the pain of lucking out in the lottery of life, so much that you have to invent slights just to stay in touch with the common folk.

And I’ll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standing’ in the rain
But you don’t have to call me darlin’, darlin’
You never even called me by my name


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