First off, I’d like to start by offering my sincerest apologies to Sam Cooke—but in my defense, it ain’t exactly easy to come up with snappy headlines when you write this stuff every day. That said, if you’re gonna rip someone off, you might as well steal from the best.
Secondly, if this post accomplishes anything beyond a few minutes distraction from those 962 unread work emails you really have no desire to read (is it possible to have a case of the Mondays on a Tuesday?), then let it serve as a reminder that as a forum for political discourse, Twitter’s value occupies a zone somewhere between the Venezuelan bolivar and Michael Avenatti’s reputation. That’s not to say that Twitter doesn’t have its uses, mind you—but when it comes to posting tweets with the subtlety of intellectual wit, one must tread carefully.
John Cornyn found that out just the other day when he decided a certain young Democrat Socialist could use a little tweaking over her Dr. Evil-esque plan to hold the American economy hostage for 90 treeeeelion dollars—otherwise known as the Green New Deal. Having a knowledge of history that actually goes back farther than the formation of the Backstreet Boys, Cornyn tweeted this out as a reminder that the idea of turning people into wards of the state by saddling them with massive government programs is nothing new. In fact, it’s been around for a long time:
Touché, Senator! To literate folks, his point was rather obvious—that a free people cannot exist within the confines of a massive state. That Cornyn used the very words of a brutal dictator only underscored the gravity of his argument, for in Mussolini’s confession we see that for all the blather about taking care of the people, the true objective of growing government is the subjugation of those people.
The less than literate, however, had a different take—and boy, was it ever a hot one.
Yes, you read that right. The congresswoman who just unveiled a plan to take over the entirety of America’s energy production, agriculture, transportation and housing—while promising everyone a living wage, regardless of their willingness to work—just accused John Cornyn of being a Mussolini fanboy.
I wish I had a can of Old Milwaukee, because guys—it doesn’t get any better than this.
Of course, Dan Crenshaw—who really seems to be one of the few sane voices in DC these days—was having none of it, and schooled Miss Cortez in what she should have learned somewhere back in the 8th grade:
Dan, I’m volunteering you to teach a night course on Capitol Hill: Remedial World History for Democrats. Just make sure the book has lots of pretty pictures so your students can understand.
I wouldn’t waste too much on Miss Cortez, though. Aside from the fact that she and Ilhan Omar would just be snapping gum and passing notes back and forth the whole time, I think it would be best for everyone going forward if they just refused to give this particular Mean Girl the attention she so obviously craves.
How about this for a new approach? Every time Cortez spews something so risable that it would make Jussie Smollett cringe, instead of correcting her we just smile and say, “That is so cute!” After all, that’s what we do for toddlers throwing tantrums—and it’s not as if Cortez is being any more reasonable.
As for Cornyn, keep on tweeting! Heaven knows, we need you to elevate the intelligence of the joint.