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NOT BREAKING NEWS: Woman Gets in Shoot Out with Pet Llama

A Louisiana woman shot her pet llama after being attacked.

His name was Earl.

This morning, the Associated Press broke the story on Twitter. Authorities in Louisiana say that the woman was working in her pasture when Earl the llama went berserk. She fought him briefly, escaped, and came back with a gun. She blasted the llama several times and has been charged with animal cruelty.

The AP says, “News outlets report 67-year-old Madeline Bourgeois told St. Landry Parish Sheriff’s deputies that Earl had attacked her last week while she was working in her pasture. A sheriff’s office statement says Bourgeois told deputies she hit Earl and escaped the pasture, but returned with a gun and repeatedly shot him.”

The sheriff added that she was within her rights to defend herself initially, but once she left, she could not justify using deadly force against a llama.

And the only thing I can think to add to this story is the unnerving parallel to the bizarre world of Napoleon Dynamite. A farmer shoots a cow in the face right in front of a school bus full of children and Napoleon has a pet llama named Tina who is a fat lard.

Other than that, the “Louisiana woman” has given the generic “Florida man” a run for his money for “weirdest story ever.”

My apologies for wasting your time…

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