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Forget Dogs, President Trump Should Get a Cat

President Trump is the first president in over a century that doesn’t have a dog. Dog people take this as a personal affront. Last night in Houston, Trump discussed his reasons. He says he doesn’t have time for a dog. He added “How would I look walking a dog on the White House lawn?” 

Fair enough. Dogs are time consuming. They have to be fed and brushed and walked. They need love and attention. If I wanted to put that much effort into something, I would have had children. Clearly, the leader of the free world doesn’t need to be scooping poop off the White House lawn. He has better things to do.

Lucky for him though, there are other pets. In fact, there are BETTER pets. Why should the president waste his time with a dog? He should get a cat instead.

People think dogs are the All-American pet, but there are 94.2 million pet cats in this country (that doesn’t even count all the feral ones) and only 89.7 million dogs. Furthermore, cats are far superior to dogs. They don’t have to be walked. They are self-cleaning. And not only do they not require a lot of attention, they really prefer to be left the hell alone.

I have 3 cats myself, so I have a spare if the president is interested. I would be happy to gift him with this one. He’s even named after the president: Trumpycat.

Trumpycat would love to move to the White House. He’d fit right in. He says he would be happy to occupy the Lincoln bedroom for the duration of Trump’s time in office. His favorite activities are sleeping and watching TV. Much like the president, he values his executive time. And he doesn’t let anyone push him around or tell him what to do.

Harry Truman once said “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.” Trump can do better than that. He should get a cat instead.

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