It’s Not All Bad News In Columbus
It seems like bowl season comes earlier each year. This season’s first bowl game took place Saturday afternoon when the Ohio State Buckeyes faced off against the Maryland Terrapins in the Enron/BP/Wells Fargo Public Relations Nightmare Bowl. In case you’ve lost track, the Terrapins have been busy making a bad situation even worse. Ohio State has just been busy doing what Ohio State always does. Former assistant coach Zach Smith spent the week on Twitter trying to ensure that the entire college football coaching world burns down with him. The game went to overtime where Matt Canada, Maryland’s head coach, seemingly told himself, “Hey, we’re Maryland, let’s go for two. What’ve we got to lose?” The Buckeyes won the game while nearly killing their head coach in the process.
But it’s not all bad news for the Buckeyes. Live PD is now following Columbus police officers every Friday and Saturday night. Now Ohio State fans will have the chance to see their favorite coaches in action off the field.
Central Florida’s Stolen Valor
The folks at College Gameday deserve a lot of credit. Usually Kirk and the boys are on major campuses like Georgia or Clemson. In a classy move, the premier college pregame show made an effort to show some love to a Division III school and visit UCF.
But now the folks at Central Florida are getting the big head. Remember, this is the same team that gave itself a national title last year for going undefeated after only playing one legitimate team all season. For some reason, they even have a campus security car with national champions written on it. This is what happens when kids who were given trophies for going 2 and 14 in little league baseball grow up to become athletic directors and university presidents. If Bernie Sanders decides to run for president again, I’m sure he’ll easily win the Central Florida vote.
As for the actual game, Central Florida beat Cincinnati (not the Bengals) 38 to 13. After the game, head coach Josh Heupel took the time to inform viewers, “This is big-time football.”
Beating Cincinnati is big time football? Since when? Who decided this? The same rule for guys who fought in special operations applies here. If you meet a guy who goes out of his way every six or seven minutes to tell you that he was a Navy SEAL, he probably wasn’t a Navy SEAL. And if you hear a coach reminding you that, “This is big-time football,” it’s not big-time football. When’s the last time you heard Nick Saban, Kirby Smart, or Dabo Swinney say something like that?
A Tax On Losing
Let’s go ahead and get to the painful truth about Atlanta’s Mercedes Benz Stadium. It’s a beautiful building. Every time I’ve been there, I’ve really enjoyed myself. But Arthur Blank built this stadium and made taxpayers pick up $700 million of the bill just so teams like the Cowboys could come to town, make it sound like the game is being played in Dallas, and expose the Falcons for the pretenders that they are. But hey, at least the new building will greatly improve the Atlanta economy. If you believe that, I’ve got some Falcons playoffs tickets to sell you.
At some point, just maybe, citizens will stop voting themselves tax increases just to make rich owners richer and bad teams worse.
Making History In Cleveland
Speaking of teams that routinely make baffling decisions, the Cleveland Browns have their eyes set on a new coach.
Her name is Condoleezza Rice.
Look, I’m sure that Condoleezza Rice is a great person but she’s never coached football and doesn’t even …
On second thought, Rice is just the woman for the job. For decades, the Browns have been led by people who allegedly do know how to coach football and it’s gotten them nowhere. So I say, give her a chance. But while you’re at it, make her GM and owner too.
Finally, it’s a Sanders family tradition to pick the big games over the Thanksgiving weekend. Here are mine.
West Virginia will beat Oklahoma.
Georgia will hurt Georgia Tech.
Michigan will finally get by Ohio State.
Alabama will beat Auburn.
And there will be two upsets in college football.
Texas A&M will shock LSU.
South Carolina will squeak by Clemson.
Trust me. I’m never wrong on these things.
In the NFL …
The Lions will do what the Lions do every Thanksgiving and lose. This time it will be to the Bears.
The Cowboys will beat the Redskins.
There will be no upsets in the NFL on Thursday — just upset Falcons fans after our team fails to rise up.
Until next week, happy footballing!