Donate search
close
Conference Update Georgia Governor Brian Kemp Will Speak at the Resurgent Gathering. REGISTER NOW. arrow_right_alt close

Share

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • send Email
  • print Print

Warning: Selfies Can Be Hazardous To Your Health!

Is taking your own picture really worth dying for?

In a sure sign that I am getting old, I am increasingly baffled by current popular trends. Goat yoga. Reality TV. The Handmaid’s Tale. SOCCER! (Seriously, Jay. I’d rather watch paint dry.)

Selfies.

That one I just don’t get. I know it’s hard to imagine, but I was once considered attractive. Many years ago. When dinosaurs roamed the planet. Before age and health issues and life in general all took their toll on me. But even then, I was never a big fan of having my picture taken. In high school and college I took a lot of photos of other people, but I’m not in any of the shots. I have been known to threaten people who point cameras at me with bodily harm. There’s a reason the cat is my avatar on this site.

Turns out, I may have saved my own life. Apparently, over 250 people have died worldwide from taking selfies. Not surprisingly, 85% of the victims were between the ages of 10 and 30 (because we old people have a hard time working these stupid phones.) But it is a surprise that the leading cause of death from selfie is drowning. What? Are people taking their phones swimming? And India has the highest total number of deaths. So, don’t try to get a selfie with a cobra or a stampeding elephant.

The author of this study Agam Bansal, told the Washington Post “The selfie deaths have become a major public health problem” Yeah, I don’t think 259 deaths constitutes a health problem. That sounds more like the law of averages and Darwinism catching up to each other. Bansal recommends more “no selfie zones” like they instituted in Mumbai. Russia has also started a “safe selfie program.”

Yeah, that’s just what we need: MORE GOVERNMENT! Look, if you’re too stupid to know better than to try and take your own photo while hanging off a cliff or a moving vehicle, then maybe the world would be better off if you removed yourself from the gene pool. Cell phones will be yet another item that we slap warning labels on. “Do not use this device if you are being chased by a stampeding rhino. Or dangling over the edge of a building. Or approaching Sean Penn.”

So, remember: selfies can be hazardous to your health.

Share

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • send Email
  • print Print

Advertisement

More Top Stories

Conniving Politicians Won’t Respect Your Good Faith Effort

There is a lot of talk regarding the likelihood that Trump will set a bad precedent with an emergency declaration. There are plenty of reasons to support or oppose Trump’s move to declare a national …

Bill Clinton’s 1995 Emergency Still in Effect Could Fund Trump’s Wall

Congress passed the National Emergencies Act in 1976. The Act consolidated a hodgepodge of Congressionally-authorized presidential powers, while not specifically intruding into executive authority. Mo …

(AP Photo/John Bazemore)

Georgia’s Republicans Are Helping Child Molesters Avoid Justice

A family invited a traveling minister to stay in their home. The minister was in town to preach at the church the family attended. At night, the minister raped and molested a 14 year old. Five years l …