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I Am An Undocumented PowerBall Winner

By  |  September 8, 2017, 10:52am  |  @stevengberman


I need to call the Georgia Lottery today. Here’s why.

The AP referred to Chicago students as “undocumented citizens” in a story published Tuesday about Mayor Rahm Emanel’s response to Trump’s DACA rollback.

Emanuel spoke as Chicago Public Schools marked the first day of classes Tuesday. The mayor told students at Solorio Academy High School they “are welcome in the city of Chicago.” The Chicago Sun-Times reports that school officials say about a third of the school’s students are undocumented citizens. Emanuel said Chicago schools “will be a Trump-free zone.”

For the record, there’s no such thing as an “undocumented citizen,” unless the AP means a naturalized citizen whose papers have been lost, or a natural-born U.S. citizen who was born in the woods and never documented.

But that’s not what they meant. They meant “illegal alien.” It’s just another subtle move by a biased press who want America to have an open borders policy and call everyone in the word an American citizen.

I wouldn’t be surprised to see this NewSpeak term start popping up in the media. We must nip it in the bud. People who are here illegally, under DACA or not, are not citizens. Green card holders are not citizens. Calling them “undocumented citizens” is a slap in the face to every immigrant who stands up before a judge and swears the oath of citizenship.

The AP, single-handedly, has cheapened every American’s citizenship. Nip it in the bud.

I need to test this NewSpeak trend by calling the Georgia Lottery and telling them I’m an undocumented Powerball winner. I’ll let you know how that works out.

UPDATE: Just now the AP has corrected their story and walked back the NewSpeak. Someone must have given them a clue. I still want to test it on the lottery folks though.